doggonecarl

You have the answer....you said it yourself:

I am recognizing today that this is the pattern- and I am stopping it in its tracks.

You entertain the idea of drinking and then you're off. This is where you stop it in its tracks. Tell it, NO, I don't drink.

Now find the support you need. If you are determined to quit, I would try all the stuff you tried before, but with the mindset that you have now--it's do or die!