Dealing with well meaning friends
Good morning/evening wherever you are.
I am three weeks on the sober bus now. So far I have avoided social interaction as far as possible. My friends all know that I have taken this descision and support and encourage me fully. The difficulty is that they are mostly Mr and Mrs Knowalls.
I know it is all well meant and I also know they have always been like that. I have known them for many years. They accepted/tolerated my drunk behaviour for so long goodness know why. As a drunk I always felt I had to accomodate their tiny little character irritations because they tolerate and forgive so much of my behaviour. Now, sober I find it difficult to get this constant stream of advice on how to be sober, how to deal with my mother’s dementia (who lives next door to me), how to deal with my sister who has Down Syndrome (who also lives next to me).
These are situations that they have no personal experience about yet they love to give advice and always believe they have all the answers. I see these friends twice a week at bridge and golf, two activities that are important for my sobriety as I love it.
Being sober now I find it difficult to just let it go as I have done all the years as a grateful drunk. I feel more confidant and I do not want advice from people who have no idea of my particular challenges.
The sober me seems to be even less tolerant than the drunk me. It is interesting to emerge from years of fog and haziness to discover who you really are.
There will always be time to work on tolerance. Perhaps it is also a lifelong quest like sobriety. Something to work on every single day.