Him not letting me know of changes to his schedule, or changes to it, is not new. It’s been cause for contention before. He doesn’t have a typical job or schedule so it changes quite a bit. I’m praying that he’s okay and well but I am pretty sure he’s simply upset about how things are at the moment. After all, I have filed for divorce and we’re technically separated. I was wrong in giving in and telling him we’d go on a few dates and takes it from there, which gave him the impression we were reconciling. At one point a few months ago, prior to me filing, when I asked for separation he went away to stay with a friend and didn’t let me know about where he was and whether he was coming back because in his words, we were separated so he didn’t feel that he needed to tell me about what he was doing. So no, this is not new. But because I still care for him and he’s away traveling, I’m overall more worried than not.

Of course I want to establish and maintain healthy boundaries and not worry so much about a guy who doesn’t really worry too much about me. But I’m still learning to let go of these insecurities. I’m grieving for the loss of the relationship.