Thanks guys, husband has apologised but I've told him its ok and I understand. I can't really blame him for thinking it everytime I go out, the only thing that will help is time. I have explained to him I'm a bit vulnerable at the moment, I'm feeling all of my emotions rather than drowning them in booze, and that I'm trying to do this for him but most importantly for myself. so todays another day. we are having a bbq, a sober one. have a good day everyone xx