Dear Beachn, I'm not going to give you another dose of tough love here, I think you are getting enough of that, but I will say I agree with it...
However, what I wanted to say to you, with hot tears in my eyes, is that I understand your fury. To the very depths of my core, I know exactly how furious you are with the circumstances you find yourself, your wife, your marriage, your family and your finances in right now. I know it is strangling you inside your chest. I've been there, there were times I thought that feeling was going to kill me, almost wanted it to so the pain would stop.
I just wanted you to know I do understand and I am so sorry for the turmoil you find yourself in. It wont always feel like this. You are learning, and you will heal. The storm will calm and you will see things in a different light. Your anger is still protecting you from the pain, it is a normal part of the process. It took me longer than I wanted it to to get through this part.... time takes it's stupid @ss time.
Hang in there friend.