Originally Posted by
Beachn 
I’ve killed all her cards, drained our joint account, and I’m killing her phone until she figures out a plan and does it. If not, those papers are going to be awfully heavy for me to carry…..
One day I’m better, one day not so much. Life shouldn’t be this complex, but here I am. My life feels like a damn escape room, and the clock is running…..
Just very concerned and because I’m so afraid of what could happen, and angry about what has, I’ve lost my damn mind…..
I need a vacation….
The anger is getting to me. I know it, can feel it changing me and I don’t like it. Not one bit……
The vacilation of emotions isn’t right, I want to be free of it and don’t know how…..
Acceptance my counselor said, this is my life right now. Accept it, be patient and let the anger go. If only I knew how to do that consistently…….
I’m gonna sit on it a few days as she puts her treatment plan together, and continue to focus on myself and the kids. I’m a firm believer that when people treat you poorly, rarely does it have anything to do with you, and everything to do with them.
stepping back and letting her family take over, she will probably leave for a few weeks, after she is detoxed. Not sure where yet. She was 30 days sober, only drinking 6, but I guess that is long enough to be right back pre rehab.
Yes I am pissed, LOL, because I am very co-dependent and it stinks. I know I’m not helping but until family arrived I didn’t trust anyone because she keeps getting worse after treatment. It’s crazy. So I hold on tighter and my anger bleeds through. I so miss her.
Beachn, I went through a difficult breakup with an addict and have moved on, after learning a ton about myself.
I’ve followed your thread but have avoided posting as you seem pretty focused on the actions and shortcomings of others rather than aspiring to actually change anything about yourself or your situation.
I’ve copied some examples of what I mean above. These sentences jump come out, every one of them (and really all of the posts I read by you) as portraying yourself as somehow helpless, ignorant, not needing to change, imprisoned by the actions of others, and most of all, not responsible for any of it.
To bring real change into your life, bringing the power and focus back onto yourself and taking a hard clear look at the truth of the situation is far more effective. Truthfully, relationships and marriages come to an end ALL THE TIME. For many reasons, not just addiction. People grow, people change, and relationships come to an end. It sucks, but that is life, and life is not fair. Many of us here have gone through this. I got out before I had kids, but many people here are raising kids on their own in difficult situations. You are not alone here, your situation is not unique. And luckily you are a free man, you don’t have to keep caught up in this thought loop that you are caught in. You can change yourself.
You can’t change her. She is an addict, and she will continue to be an addict until SHE decides she wants to change. And there is NOTHING you can do about this. But you can change yourself, take responsibility for your life, your situation, and your happiness or lack thereof. If you don’t –if you keep lashing out at everyone who tells you things you don’t want to hear or that don’t jive up with your preconceived notions of reality and propriety – well, nothing changes if nothing changes.