Originally Posted by
FallenAngelina 
This is how I experience codependency, as well. When someone else has extreme influence over my mood. Even thinking about what the other person might be up to or might be thinking can influence my mood. When I look outside myself and feel that this person can reach inside me, sending me into highest highs and lowest lows just by being who they are - that is codependence to me.
This is why AlAnon is so great because I learn how to look within for guidance and set the tone for the relationship instead of always reacting to the other person.
That's interesting. I find I do that a lot. With the ex addict I was all of the time guessing or assuming what he was thinking or what he was feeling. Even now with friends I'm doing that in terms of thinking they are thinking a certain way now if I turn down an invitation to meet up. In reality I can't possibly know what another is thinking, and it's actually none of my business. Definitely a codependent trait!