Originally Posted by
PerSe 
... co-dependency is allowing outside factors (mood of AH, whether AH was drinking or not, behavior of kids, how friendly or unfriendly a random person may have seemed, and other random stuff) determine my mood/feeling of well-being at any given time.
This is how I experience codependency, as well. When someone else has extreme influence over my mood. Even thinking about what the other person
might be up to or
might be thinking can influence my mood. When I look outside myself and feel that this person can reach inside me, sending me into highest highs and lowest lows just by being who they are -
that is codependence to me.
This is why AlAnon is so great because I learn how to look within for guidance and set the tone for the relationship instead of always reacting to the other person.