Can relate. For me it was regrets. Once I accepted them though, the game changed.
I was an all day drunk going through a handle of vodka in under a week trying to escape those feelings of regret. That didn't work. In fact, it made things worse because I was not facing the things I needed to face.
Today I'm approaching 4yrs sober (4/20) and I firmly believe I wouldn't be here if I hadn't faced those regrets and accepted them.
Everything I read about the issue of regret was that I needed to "lean into" the issues, not run from them. The more I sat with an issue, felt the emotions, and noticed my thoughts as they related, the easier it got.
The more we try to ignore something, the stronger it's lure. Yet, the more we try to focus on something, the easier we are distracted.
Daily meditation and Journaling helped me in ways I didn't think possible. These were "controlled" events focused on dealing with my regrets. This helped make the rest of the day more bearable, and more importantly, allowed productive time for addressing the issues.
Congrats on day 20 man. That's huge!