Hey folks!

I’m sorry if you got worried. I’m wrapped up in a bunch of crap. I’m ok though. I’m not as sick as I was. I got some relief. I’m having anxiety issues going hand in hand with the physical. It ain’t the quitting booze part that’s hard. It’s dealing with stuff without it.

I had booze for when my illness acted up and it kept me going. I had it for extremely stressful situations and it kept me going. Whatever it was, it kept me going. I was able to function, but *going no where.* Now I’ve got 9 months of wisdom. I see how the whole thing worked. Quite simply it doesn’t. You numb things so you don’t have to deal and nothing gets resolved. My lord the opportunities I missed. I’m living on benefits, which suck in many ways, and people around here make ridiculous amounts of money. It’s not rocket science.

I was talking talking to an Attorney that works for the State today and I know as much and more than she does. I corrected her on several details of the law today 🙄. She’s been doing it 30 years!! This seems to happen a lot. The new therapist won’t stop with how smart I am, and she went to Harvard. Anyway I’m not bragging. When your body won’t cooperate and you blew some amazing opportunities, it sucks. I had a time when booze was my issue. If I quit I felt great in 2 weeks.

I really want to move forward. Ditch the benefits. All of that. I’m being impatient but I thought 9 months was a good amount of time. Health is just not cooperating and it is a $—+ hand as bluesey said.

Thanks for the thoughts, I’ll be back regularly!! ❤️❤️