Here I am again. I road the wave of urge 1. Second one surfaced. Realized I have a stash still. Not much but enough. I smelled it. I then reread a message of support. I then proceeded to dump the bottle. It's gone. Flushed away. This is good and the release I ultimately was looking for. This isn't easy. But it's better in the long run. There is much to lose if I sabotage myself. There's much to gain by taking the risk to actually live life and appreciate what I have.