I should have posted this morning as that seems to help. Woke up anxious but went for a run. Went to work. Felt super down and overwhelmed after and thought about drinking wine. Just one glass of wine I thought... And oscillated back and forth entertaining the idea of stopping at the store en route home. Instead I parked my car and went inside and sat here reading posts for the last hour. I reflected on my partner's recovery (instead of my own, not sure if that's the healthiest thing or not) and their strength/courage and not wanting to disappoint. Doing so, kept me in my seat, grounded (or at least increasingly grounded!!). The urge isn't entirely gone, but it's lessened.
Thank you for this space and for all of you.
I thanked my partner.
And I'm now posting for myself. Another 24 for me, please.