Originally Posted by
Imissmywife 
I just found this website and thank you in advance for your input. I really don’t know where to start. I am mid 40s and my AW and I have been married almost 25 wonderful years. Well 19 wonderful years. The last 6 years my wife has progressively drank more and more. To the point of now it’s a 30 pack of beer per day and she hasn’t gotten out of house in over 2 months. She wanted to go to rehab once and we packed her a bag and made it Into the admin office into to be told that her case wasn’t serious enough. Well it’s serious now and she won’t back. I have looked up high dollar female only rehab clinics but she won’t go. Now she won’t even talk about it. I know I enable her. Hell I even buy her beer for her because listening to her screaming got so bad and I am terrified she will just drive to the store if it don’t. I really don’t know what to do. I have never talked to anyone about this. Would giving her an ultimatum of her stopping drinking or me leaving help? Any advice would be appreciated
An ultimatum is unlikely to work in the long term, and should only be put out there if you intend to follow through.
Your AW sounds like she's in all sorts of trouble as, apart from the drinking, she's not leaving the house. It might also be dangerous for her to stop drinking abruptly even if she wanted to. Many heavy drinkers require medical supervision.
You say you haven't talked to anyone about this, and the first thing I would suggest is you stop making it into a secret. Find someone to talk to, preferably your family doctor if you have one, or a counsellor experienced in addiction. You won't be able to keep this up indefinitely without exploding in some way. The suggestion of Al-anon is a great one, because you will meet many many people who know what you're going through.
Look after yourself first, and then make any decisions about how you will proceed. Your doctor will probably have many resources you can use to help yourself and her.