hopefully by now you realize you are not IN a relationship with another engaged human, you are in a relationship dance with addiction. the addict's one and only purpose and focus is the next hit.....how to get it, when to get it, how to fund it, where to use it. and that's it.
over time you have come to believe that you are somehow making a difference. that you are the only thing keeping him alive. and yet you really just provide him a place to smoke dope. you are his resource. he isn't there for your great pancakes.
you are not in charge of his life. HE IS. the lifestyle he is choosing to live, the drugs he continues to take, that is what runs his life. and there may be tragic consequences. but it's dangerous crossing the street and most of us don't have a person dedicated to stand in front of the bus for us.
in a sense, you hold him hostage. you'll do anything as long as he'll stay, you enable and take abuse, just to have him near.
that's not love.
what about your own life? YOUR LIFE. the one that isn't centered and steeped in active addiction. sucking up heroin smoke. checking a pulse. keeping the narcan handy.