I've watched your journey for a while now, Jeff. I'm sorry that you are so sad at the moment, and I understand that sadness completely. I'm a "woman of a certain age", and I'm also a widow of about 3 1/2 years. I was never able to have children and now that ship has sailed--so to speak.
I have cried buckets of tears over it--buckets.
Now the sadness comes and goes, and I enjoy being around my late husband's grands. Nothing will ever replace having children of my own, but I do enjoy a full life--maybe a bit too full at the moment, lol!
I hope all goes well with your doctor!