^^^ I am also a fan of writing things down (and somehow writing things by hand works better than typing them on a screen). Sometimes having the words on a piece of paper can help you realize that this is really, really bad - countering the tendency to normalize abnormal situations and think "well, it's not THAT bad ...".
I also used to send myself emails so that I would have not only WHAT happened but WHEN it happened (through the dates and times). This helped me see patterns. It also helped with the gaslight-y, reality-doubting aspects of living with an alcoholic - did that really happen or am I imagining things? Can I trust my memory? Well, there's the email I sent myself as soon as it happened - so I didn't just make it up.
Even now whenever ex is causing trouble, I write up everything immediately with a ridiculous amount of detail, because I know I'm still vulnerable to that self-doubt and second-guessing myself ("that's crazy, no sane person would ever do that - oh, but he really did").