FallenAngelina

Alcoholics don't just pop out of the bushes and latch onto random people, they attach to the ones who are receptive. Everything you've listed here gets more and more pronounced, the longer you involve yourself in an unhealthy relationship, which (I'm coming to believe) is the very nature of a relationship with an active alcoholic. The struggles you list only get greater when involved with an active alcoholic because that relationship speaks to all of the troubles already inside you.

Have you ever gotten involved in Alanon? It would provide a great opportunity for you to address the underlying reasons that you're attracted to this man to begin with. Remaining in contact with an active alcoholic will bring out more and more of your depression and social anxiety. AlAnon would be a great arena in which to work on the challenges that set you up for receptivity to him. Just like AA, AlAnon is full of people who have made the choice to change their lives for the better. The people with whom we choose to spend time have an enormous influence on us. Look at him, then go spend time around them - which parts of yourself do you want to foster?