I can understand wanting to drink. There is an appeal there of all sorts of good things, sophistication, good times (like in the beer commercials), and pleasant feelings. But these things are lost on alcoholics. Maybe we could achieve them at one time, or maybe they were always fantasies.
When you say you still think you can drink, I assume that means getting the fantasy part, because there is really not much other than that in drinking I can think of, and I've long recognized that I don't get the good anymore. On top of that, my drinking was growing out of control.
I still didn't want to quit. I wanted to be normal. I thought being normal and drinking normal was the most important goal I could strive for. Except that I couldn't do it. I had to quit, and there is no easy way. Now that I've been quit for 24 years, I laugh at those thoughts that life cannot be complete without alcohol. Where did I get such a weird idea to begin with? I don't know. I guess I'm as susceptible to believing stupid things as the next guy.