ScottFromWI

So build a life that's made for not drinking. And stop coming up with excuses not to. You can always find a reason - your job, your relationships ( or lack of ), your roommates, your past, your financial situation, and so on ans so forth. You talk about "filling the hole" but you built the hole. Bury that hole by quitting drinking - thats' step one. Then start piling things up above ground one by one - and you'll be amazed at how much better it will be. But make no mistake - none of that can work until you decide to quit drinking and accept that it's never OK to take even one sip - ever.

It's not going to be easy. And frankly it might seem like things are getting worse at first - because your body and mind will need to adjust to not being sedated all the time. Anxiety, withdrawals, and other unlpleasant things are just a natural reaction. But they are finite - usually weeks at the long end of things.

You also need to accept that you'll need to seek treatment for your mental health issues - they will not magically disappear when you quit drinking. Some of them may improve, and you will have an increased capacity to deal with them once you quit - but professional treatment like therapy or possibly even meds might be required. And it will take time - months, maybe even years - for those issues to be worked out. But they CAN be worked out if you are willing to do the work. I personally drank to try and "Cure" my anxiety for decades - and it eventually made it worse of course.