I am surrounded now by people who truly love and care for me. I learned a lot about love and what was not love by going to Alanon. I am so grateful for my friends and so glad XAH is removed from my life! DS still has nothing to do with me- DD has reconnected - but the relationship is very one-sided. She takes and takes from me and does not return my love. She calls me when she wants something. She tells me I love you, but what she really means is- Mom, I want you to love me. So I do love her. I see what is going on, and I just accept that is where she is right now. Maybe there will be an evolution- maybe not. But at least I am not fooled. Recently I had some devastating abdominal surgery and i had to have help at home when i came home. Friends and family have rallied around me and made sure I had the help I need. DD refused to change her plans for me or come to stay- she offered a 4 to 6 hour visit if I was willing to pay her $1000 so she and GF could come to visit. I explained I needed help, not a social visit. I was willing to pay her airfare if she came for 5 days to be of help. DD can work remotely. It hurts like hell but it just shows me the truth so I have to take it in and realize there are loving people in the world- thank goodness!!