Is exactly what I want to scream at the top of my lungs! Family gone - ck, work problems - ck, legal problems - ck, tons of health problems -ck, lack of friends - ck. The insanity is astounding. So now AH faces contempt charges, fraud charges, identity theft charges (if we bring it). Has no sane family left (his, mine is mostly sane but they want nothing to do with him.) Relationships completely destroyed all around, still lying, still nasty, still digging. It just boggles the mind. I think the digging is the only control he has left and he just won’t put down the shovel. One accident, one misstep is his web of lies, one subpoenaed document and the walls of that hole are gonna cave, it’s insanity and I just don’t get it. I really thought the survival instinct would trump all else even in someone with mental illness/alcoholism. The arrogance/ignorance is astounding. It’s really something to watch the moods cycle and I am at a distance I can’t imagine it upclose and in real time, thank goodness. This is why people die of this damn disease!!! My arrogance and ignorance have nothing left but acceptance. AH is still digging and he’s gonna die in that hole and there isn’t anything anyone other than him can do to stop it. It’s so odd the people I have met along the way in my lifetime but particularly the last few years. The 30 year sober alcoholic, the random realtor from years ago who was a sober alcoholic (after losing his family he got sober and then lost his life in a random car accident.) My new community which is providing all that I need - from al-anon company, financial planners, cpa’s, headhunters, handymen, good friends and good fellowship. The friends I have made in communities I never thought I had anything in common with. While AH is digging his hole I am enjoying the wildflowers, authentic relationships, freedom from lies and manipulation. A dear friend told me a heartbreaking story tonight and wondered what the lesson was. When we thought about it we came up with two things. You are (were in this case) not alone, and there are so many wonderful people around you at any given moment you just need to take a moment to engage with them. You won’t find them at the bottom of your hole!