ScottFromWI

For me it ended when I stopped asking why and just accepted that I "am" an alcoholic. Using consequences as the main vehicle to stay sober rarely works, if ever. And as lucky as it seems you have been this time around, you don't get unlimited do-overs/mulligans/tries.

So maybe instead of asking why, start setting goals for yourself. If being sober is truly what you want - make it happen. Write it down if you have to - and I mean literally, schedule out every hour of your day if need be. Add things to your schedule that promote staying sober - like attending recovery meetings, or spending time here, or exercising or clearing out your bedroom - anything but drinking alcohol.