Thanks for all of your input. I just want to be happy and healthy, finally, and if the Rx helps me it's what I have to do for now with the goal of getting off of them down the road. I have some things to work through first but I'm on the right path.
Delilah1, I'm sorry for your loss. My mom died in 2012 after a 2 year battle with Pancreatic Cancer. Since I'm an only child and no family left it all fell on me. I spun even further down after that.
Happy Sobriety for all of us in this crazy world!