Tinkerbeau, I can understand how you must be feeling right now, terrified of what you are doing, scared about work, worried about what anybody might say, even a doctor. It's like a paralysis, or it was for me. I'd wait until I was feeling just good enough to pull myself together and go out for more wine (or whatever). It was awful.
The most difficult thing to do is to alter that track long enough to start a reset. It might be motivating by getting in to see somebody that can help you, at least for that beginning. A doctor is a good place to turn to if you are feeling really ill and worry about detoxing. Going to an AA meeting can help you mentally to think that you can not drink for the day. I don't know your work schedule, but if you can get into your place of employment for a couple days at least, you will feel more secure.
Please get some face to face contact that will help you along the way of breaking this current cycle. You will feel better. Trust in your ability to do it.