Wallie

Hello there everyone.

hi

I'm a new member. I'm currently suffering with alcohol addiction. This week seems to be one of the worst I've had in a long time. Well I guess I'll start back in November, I've been drinking heavily for about a year-and-a-half almost two. But in November I lost my job, not due to alcohol due to New management but none the less I lost my job that I worked at for 16 years. Needless to say it hit me pretty hard and I'm already pretty weak at the moment so....

I'm not quite sure what started it all ....... I was always really good at being able to stop drinking. I was the person that looked out for everybody else. Now im the person that no one wants to be around. Now I feel like I'm the person that people don't want their spouses around because my behavior might encourage them to drink. Im not an encourager or anything I'm just drinking all the time so I feel like people think they need to be drunk to be around me.

All I know is that it's 5 a.m. and once again I passed out drunk and now I'm up because I can't sleep. Sitting with a glass of vodka barely paying attention to the TV wondering when things are going to get better. I hate the most that I don't know who I am anymore, well lifes always been pretty hard, I'm bipolar and I have OCD. I always thought as long as I didn't have some type of addiction I be okay but all that's gone out the window now. I want to get sober I really do. I'm scared.

I just want to say that I'm new here and I'm not really sure if I'm supposed to post this kind of thing in this section, I don't want to depress anyone and if I did I'm sorry in advance. I really am. Thanks.

so thanks for reading if you taken the time to I'm open to feedback.

- b