Originally Posted by
Purplethistles 
Thanks all. I have got a grip of myself now. I unfortunately experienced childhood sexual abuse, sexual abuse as a young adult and also I am a parent to a child that has suffered sexual abuse. I have spent most of my life feeling alone, from the moment I told my parents and they did not believe or support me then as a young adult, cutting ties with my family when they chose my abuser over me.
As said up thread, I did not become an alcoholic and in some ways, although I am not proud of it, perceive people that use drugs and drink tonumb themselves to life, as weak.
This reply was such a good answer and I'm glad that things are clearer for you now.
I am sorry that you were sexually abused -- it's so much more common than people think, Please seek support from rainn if you have not already. I am not sure if I mentioned this before, but I thought that because there wasn't anyone "there" for me when I disclosed my sexual abuse history, that I had to be "there" for my ExAH. I thought I had to support him no matter what -- any decent person would do that. Also, my ex has a history of abuse, so his story really hit me in the feels. I thought I was doing the right thing... and it would have been the right thing if my ex wasn't an addict. In fact, my "support" just became enabling no matter what my intentions.
Yes, some parts of society think that addicts are "weak" and they condemn them. Some parts of society think that addicts are "sick" and that we shouldn't just "abandon" them. So don't beat yourself up about what you used to think -- it's a difficult disease to understand unless you have lived with it or next to it. I think it's a combination of both: weakness and sickness. It doesn't make a person less of a person. We rarely get to choose how we live... and we never get to choose how we die. Happy is the person who is gifted with the rarity of a life never knowing about coins with two faces.
If you DO have the opportunity to make choices about how you want to live, make them. It may not seem like it but there are billions of people on this planet and few people on this planet have that choice.