Thanks all. I have got a grip of myself now. I unfortunately experienced childhood sexual abuse, sexual abuse as a young adult and also I am a parent to a child that has suffered sexual abuse. I have spent most of my life feeling alone, from the moment I told my parents and they did not believe or support me then as a young adult, cutting ties with my family when they chose my abuser over me.
As said up thread, I did not become an alcoholic and in some ways, although I am not proud of it, perceive people that use drugs and drink tonumb themselves to life, as weak.
The above is why I wobbled this morning, remembering what it was like dealing with the abuse all on my own and the ways in which it still affects my life today. I suppose I thought I had enough 'experience' to help him, however even if I could, it wouldnt help his addiction. It may have been a trigger but is no longer the cause.
What I have done is contacted my local rehab centre, gathered the appropriate information and sent it to him with the suggestion he attends the 14 week inpatient rehab. I have told him that I cannot be responsible for him, be his counsellor or be available at the other end of the phone all day long. That my concern is purely for our son and the children I already have. That the best thing he can do, is take every help available for himself and so for our son.
That is where I will leave it. I don't love my husband anymore, I know that. I do still care however and that is because he is the father of my unborn baby. But only for that reason.