I clearly still don’t understand how alcoholics think. I keep expecting him to come to his senses and get his life together so we can be together. He’s 57 so I know that is probably not going to happen. When I saw him at the store, he painted a rosy picture that his job is secure (I know it is not) and that his son is great (also know this is not true.) My brain gets it, but my heart is still not catching up. Will it ever? He is a mess and always will be, but that doesn’t change my feelings for him. I don’t want him anywhere near my children yet I miss him terribly. Unlike my divorce where I didn’t love my husband anymore, this is really painful and seemingly without end.