Ran into my XAB at the store and have been a sobbing mess ever since. Quick recap - we had been in a cycle of breaking up/getting back together for months before he decided to leave and replace me with another woman in a week. Near the end of our relationship he got his 2nd DUI - driving around at a .30, peed his pants, nearly hit someone. Prior had been on a drinking rampage for months - always texting me mean horrible things when drunk. Showing up at my home drunk. Living irresponsibly - not paying bills, getting evicted twice in 6 months, living like a pig. Why did I stay? I love him and continued to hold out hope. I guess I still am holding that same hope. It has been over 2 months and I still miss him terribly. I thought I was okay, but seeing him today reopened all the wounds. Other than looking a little scruffy, his life seems good for him and he looked very happy and content. He told our mutual friend that he is not drinking. So after a year of me begging for him to stop he finally does, but now is with someone else. Granted he has a jail sentence or house arrest ahead of him and will lose his license for over a year. Even so - why am I so sad? Why do I miss him so badly? I have two great kids, a highly successful and rewarding job, wonderful friends and family. I still can’t understand why he doesn’t want to be with me? I am pretty, put together, lots of money. I really thought he loved me. Do alcoholics even love? Can they just shut off their feelings and walk away? He’s not drowning himself in alcohol so how can he just leave me without a thought and go on to lead a la-dee-da happy life?