Originally Posted by Guener

I customarily wake up around this time of the night and check into SR for my next 24 hours, and I'm doing that.

I was having a clear dream about the disruption that I brought to others when I was drinking and made a public statement to the group that I was going to remove myself from the group to stop being a part of the chaos that was causing a riff among the people there, and I woke up.

I realize that I have kind of done that with my friends nation-wide, though there was nothing like the meeting that ever happened other than at a reunion I was talked to about my drinking by a friend who was/is in recovery. At the time I brushed it off, but the memory obviously lingers, and even now living sober it resonates.

I do have individual friends from that cadre who still care deeply about how I am doing, and I am grateful for them very much. I have not spoken to them about my quitting all together for now nearly 10 months but have been considering telling these few after I reach a year. I don't know how things will go if I see these people again (or when I do, perhaps, since I cannot afford to travel right now).

I guess I'm feeling some isolation, and I do tend to withdraw from people when I have that cognitive dissonance.