UhOh, I hope that you take this life lesson as an opportunity to get help.
You wouldn't be the first person who's drinking career was interrupted with a DUI, crash, etc. and who then entered AA and got sober.
I drove drunk everyday for years and then I got sober.
My life got better and I no longer have to worry when I drive.
I stop at DUI checkpoints with my Perrier in hand and get waived right on through.
There is a much better life out there for you than this nonsense.
Please seize it and hold onto it, amigo.