Hello everyone,
I didn't see the recent replies until today. I am on here occasionally but it is not a compulsion like it used to be. This place really got me through some rough moments...years...I came back today to read my old threads, I do that occasionally, when things are good or going not so well, I can quickly remember where I have come from.
Life is good, still not exactly where I want to be, but so much happier/content/confident-
living long term with an active alcoholic/controlling/narc will really set you back in life if you aren't careful..lol
Currently still loving my new (not so new anymore) job, I am treated well, compensated fairly, and have opportunity here. Kids are doing well, happy, for the most part. Their father still is their father, he does not adhere to the parenting plan he fought over..but when he does, he still manages to do his emotional damage. Difference now, my kids can see the contrast of householda and are able to communicate with me. We adopted a dog and love him. Still living at home with my parents, it's a struggle some days, but all for good reason-
I am excited to start house hunting this spring, home ownership was never possible in my previous life, but here I am about to make it happen by myself and it feels great. I can imagine it now, fixing up a cute place with bright windows and a neighborhood for the kids. This is something I would visualize in the darkest of times to help me move forward in life. And it is within reach, made possible by me and me alone.
I am seeing someone that is pretty amazing. We have a year behind us now actually, started off super casual and low key... but developed at a healthy and normal pace into something real/long term. He is respectful and kind and creative and has empathy and respects me. I am learning how to be in a healthy relationship finally at 35.5 years old.
I have emotional flashbacks and days where I still feel/hear exah in my head, but I am winning this. I try not to regret staying longer than necessary because it is in the past now.
But I cannot express enough how different life is now and all for the better.