MNB- grief is a very personal thing, which I for one do not share much. When I do- the feedback I get is usually not wanted. I woke from a coma in the same bed my bro died in in an ICU and found out my dad was dead. Lots of grief and Jan is always a crap month for me (I shared a b-day with dead bro- not twins) and the grief wells up. I do not think mine- or yours is just ruminating. For me it is me trying to work through it and process it now I am in a safe place and no longer drinking. Writing stuff down helps.