9 months was hard for me. I had a heck of a lot of shame about it. It was the longest I was sober in my life since I was about 11. I have 2 kids and I could not hear the WORD "alcohol" when I was pregnant or I would barf in technicolor. (I am deeply grateful that that was the case - it gave my kids the best chance in life and made it so I didn't have the choice to endanger them. I probably would have drank through both pregnancies if it had been left in my hands.) But every day before I was pregnant, I was drinking. Then I think I started up again two weeks after my daughter was born and I think I made it two DAYS after my son arrived.
So when I hit 9 months, I spent some time dwelling on the fact that it was the longest I'd been sober in my life. My mom (she's spectacular - but a total non-drinker) was all, "Look what you've accomplished! Look how far you've come!" But inside, I felt like a failure and kept beating myself up for my lack of fortitude and character.
As time goes on, I realized that every day, heck every minute and every second, is the longest I've been sober in my life. And I'm grateful for it. I have a high stress job and when things go wonky and crazy, they call me, because I'll deal with it. When my dad can't find the exact kind of compression socks that he HAS to have or there's a teen movie that he HAS to see but can't see alone because he can't be that creepy guy alone in the theater, he calls me. When my kids need anything, anything at all, they come to me. It was kind of amazing how quickly the people in my life came to recognize my worth and rely on me when I couldn't see any value in myself or my accomplishments.
So if you're in a bit of the Blahs and beating yourself up for your past, I relate. I was there with you. But maybe you can start looking toward your future. 9 months is OUTSTANDING. It's a heck of an accomplishment. You have so much more value than you are giving yourself credit for and you are living your life as the real you.
Congratulations on your sober time, and keep going!