The first thing that will help with the self-loathing is for you to come to realize that alcoholism is a disease, not a matter of willfully choosing to do the things we do when drunk. An alcoholic trying to quit is a sick person trying to get better, not a bad person trying to do good.
Don't beat yourself up. What you did yesterday is done. It's in the history books, never to be changed. Worry about today...have a plan to stay sober today instead of spending wasted time regretting past actions.
Personally, I'd suggest:
1. AA. It's helped lots of us get and remain sober.
2. If you are religously inclined, find a church you are comfortable with.
3. If you can afford it, or if you have insurance that will cover it, try seeing a therapist that specializes in addiction issues.
As for how much or how often you drink...that is not the deciding factor in whether or not you are an alcoholic. An alcoholic drinks, a little or a lot, daily or binging, because he/she HAS to, compulsively, rather than as a choice. Besides being a recovering drunk, I am an addiction counselor, and I have one client...a little old lady of 68, who only drinks one glass of wine daily at 5PM. Just one small glass...but she HAS to have that glass of wine. Hell...it's not even enough to get her buzzed, but she HAS to have it (she thinks). I'd say that's an alcoholic.
Lighten up on yourself, realize that alcoholism is a disease, and start doing something about it TODAY. Here at SR is a good start.
BubbaBob