Originally Posted by Seren

Hello Wamama,

You are absolutely have a right to your frustration. I can only begin to imagine. Although addiction runs in my family like a thread that binds the generations--I have never been married to it.

One thing I have learned over the years is that my expectations of other people's behavior is the thing that will absolutely kill any kind of relationship. But, it may be that the relationship needed to die, so to speak.

I kind of compare it to my first marriage. My ex was unfaithful and filed for divorce. The thing I remember very clearly from one particular session with my counselor at the time was her question about whether or not I could ever trust my (now ex) husband again. In other words, even if he did all the right things at the right times in the right amounts, would I ever be able to relax and trust him again? I decided no in that case.

What do you think your reaction would be if your husband were doing everything by way of communicating and participating in the family that you want? Would you still feel the same way you do right now? Or, would you be happy to be part of this relationship again?