Long road to day one
Me again, on day one.
I've worked really hard over the last few weeks to learn to stop loving, wanting, and needing to drink. I've eliminated foods that trigger cravings and focused on mindfulness, joy, and gratitude. I've been waiting for the moment that I knew, unequivocally, that both body and mind agreed that I was ready.
I felt that very powerfully last night. I understand why I've struggled so long and I no longer have bitterness or hatred towards myself. I never allowed myself to succeed at anything before, and it's time to fix that, too. I definitely no longer love drinking, and I've worked through hating it. I don't need it anymore, and I don't mourn my relationship with it at ALL.
Sobriety is scary! Thanks to everyone who so patiently shows support to endless day oners like me.
So, off to get some sunshine and fresh air, not skulk to the liquor store and play the whole hide-the-bottle game that my husband and I both know doesn't fool anyone.