Hi HC, I used this community.
But..and it's a big but - I committed to doing everything else I could but drink. I had to take drinking off the table.
Everything in my head said drinking would fix whatever ailed me. Everything said I'd never get sober.
Everything said I was too sensitive to cope. Everything said if people had my life, they;'d drink too.
Everything in my head said I was too far gone.
None of that was true.
It was easy to break down and reach for a bottle but I knew that wasn't going to lead to change.
I had to have faith that not drinking - however painful and uncomfortable in the short term - was going to pay off in the long run.
Do a little cost benefit analysis - look at what you do not to drink - what effort has gone into that in the last say two weeks....
and then look at the effort you put in to drinking for that same time - including money time and repercussions.
If the latter is greater, you have a problem and it needs fixing. The only way to fix it is to make different choices.
You can start by engaging with the ideas raised in threads like these. I don;t think I've seen you come back to a thread too often.
You might not mean anything by it - but it's a symptom of the problem, I think.
i was good at initiating ideas but woeful at following through. My addiction loved that.
Engage with the ideas and the people making the suggestions - you might find a breakthrough there?
D