Funny I just posted about this, this morning. Did you read it?
I'm reading a book about habits and motivation. It says that there have been studies where they found rats that have zero dopamine production and the rats literally lost the will to live.
I too would have those very same thoughts when drinking. I never felt I was very close to abiding by them, but they were definitely strong thoughts. It just goes to show you that alcohol can literally make you hear voices. I didn't realize this until I quit and looked back on it.
TY everyone for the links...I definitely want to check them out and learn more