I feel like I’m putting it off because the feeling of anxiety about the disruption and fall out of leaving with four children (one adult child living at home with serious health issues - and another with ASD) seems worse than trying to maintain a status quo.
Oh man, RainingButtons, understood! This is tough. I was up in my head for along time before I left my exH. But there just came a time when it was over and I had to make that leap and you know what, honestly, it was terribly hard and stressful but it was NOT worse than the status quo at all, in fact it was almost immediately, mentally, better. Suddenly my own stuff was front and center and I could deal with it, I felt such a surge of control over my destiny it was awesome. Not perfect, not easy, but totally worth it.
Yes it is very scary...just like when you finally jump in the cold lake or pool and get past that initial shock the water is wonderful and you can handle it. All in your own time, just remember the past is gone, you are free in each moment!
Peace,
B.