Good for you for sticking with recovery! Sorry the universe is crapping on you. It's gotta get better at some point.
I have often said to myself, "There is no situation where smoking/drinking is going to make this better. There is no occasion when it will be okay for me to do so." Good times or bad times.
A lot of recovery is learning how to deal with life without the crutch of drugs/drink. A lot of times it's just getting through the day without giving in.
Check in more often, even if it's just to vent. We worry about people who are absent for too long.
Well done and take care.