Do you love HIM or do you love the IDEA of him?
Vastly different.
Do you love a drug addict who uses you, has this negative effect on you, is unreliable and offers you no emotional support?
Or do you love the IDEA of who he could be?
Your baby is coming in a few weeks and you need to focus on him or her. A baby is supposed to be utterly dependent, and self-absorbed. An adult is not. Take care of yourself and your child. Forget him, because you don't really have him.