Glad you are back at it Ben. As WF said, it doesn't affect us negatively when one of us slips. I believe it's helpful. It wasn't long ago that it was only WF and I posting for a week or 2. Those were the hardest days for me. Not knowing what happened (or kind of knowing) to the rest.
I made an analogy early on about this feeling like a horror movie. You know how the beast picks off the group one by one out of the darkness. That analogy is scary. If we keep coming back, it's not.
A big part of an addicts problem is ego. Last week I was thinking "I can't tell the group, it will affect them and they'll fail". Or "I can't go back now that I drank, I let them all down". Because, clearly you all needed me for your own sobriety, right? (Sanctimonious, No offense intended, just a descriptive word) I was again stuck in the Me,Me,Me thinking. I needed to break that pattern. So I came right back and told those that know my struggles the most. And it gave me a major breakthrough.
I read a lot of threads in newcomers. A lot of personalities from all over. But you can see certain patterns develop. And you can get an idea of what starts to work.
I see some that struggle most are very resistant to much of the advise. Or worse, they get offended by some of it too. Often, the words they find most offensive are those that are the most truthful.
It's a battle with our ego that can only be overcome by humility. It's taken some time for me to really understand that word.
When WF asked me to share the "why", I didn't give a cookie cutter response using key words "trigger, slip, etc". I put my ego aside and humbly reflected on myself before responding. I found the very specific cause of my pick up. And now I can work on it with your understanding of me. It's not the reason everyone else does and I wouldn't assume it would be.
I understand you were at a funeral. It can be very depressing and convince us to drown those feelings. that could be a trigger. But do you know why you decided to drink?