I joined SR over a year ago. In that year, I would have stops and starts. When I would get some days under my belt, I would post more and offer all kinds of expert advise. Then I would drink again. Feel ashamed and embarrassed and not log back on. Then I was cured forever from the cycle!!! NOT! I would start drinking myself back into my self destruction without any accountability or support. Ben, you know if you step away it will only get worse. Nobody said recovery was a straight line.
Oh, and just want to remind you that I drank 4 days ago. So don't dump that sanctimonious line about hindering WF and I. Or Bumboid and Hopeful either.
I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that, this September 2018 thread will end when we no longer need it. All of us. Last I checked, we all checked in today. So, I'm pretty sure none of us are "cured" yet.
I think that you've gained more sober time since being part of this group than before you joined. All of us have. Stepping away almost guarantees a full blown relapse.
Get a good night sleep and put it back together tomorrow.
I had a great reflection on last weeks drinking when WF asked me. I was able to articulate and understand exactly WHY. Now I can address it fully. That's a huge revelation for me that I would not have discovered had I not come right back here.
Don't think for a second that you're a better alcoholic than we are. You're just as capable of recovery as the rest of us.
Above said with only love in my heart my friend.