Originally Posted by bringmeback7693

So I was sober for about 6 months. Relapsed, and then was sober 2 months after that. Since January 1, I have been trying moderation. It has been going well; I made a limit of 3 drinks per day and only to drink on Fridays and Saturdays. So far I have stuck to this limit.

But every morning after I drink, I have woke up from bad dreams and enormous guilt. Most of this guilt is due to lying to everyone in my life except for a couple people about being sober. I could tell everyone in my life that I've decided to moderate, but I don't think this guilt and anxiety is worth it right now.

I'm taking 30 days off from drinking, then re-assessing. I have a lot of stress about this because ultimately I don't want complete sobriety, but I also don't want this guilt I'm feeling. And I am scared that, eventually, moderation will stop working.

So I don't have a plan right now. My plan is to take 30 days off, and then re-assess. That's the best I can do right now, but I still don't like not having a plan.