Do you see a pattern here?
This is the thing where X amount of time passes (on this go round the circus ring it was a bit longer because you had a distraction) and you start thinking back on how nice he can be and how kind and really he's a deep thinker full of great plans who is misunderstood because of the demon drink.
You know what, all that may be true but what is also true is he is an addict. You didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it.
If you return to the tent you are going to get hurt again, that's a fact. While you have been away nothing has changed, not one thing. He is still living with his cousin cuddling. He is still picking up random women and men in bars. He is still drinking, regularly, until he is black out drunk.
That's the picture you should be thinking of and what you can expect, not the "deep thinker full of kindness and love".
I was reading some article the other day and the person said, you need to be clear. Is the drinking masking the true nature of the person OR is it merely a thing that enables the person to show their true nature. It's worth contemplating.