Tomorrow is my 9 year anniversary, but I have plans so I thought I would do my annual check-in this evening. I'm safely tucked away in my substance free house with my pyjamas on so I have no doubts that I will make my official 9th anniversary tomorrow.
I have to admit that I struggled more this past year than I had in previous years - not so much with alcohol, but with the legalization of weed. For the longest time, that was all that everyone was talking about, and I had to listen to some friends talking about the virtues of marijuana products in all their forms. Weed was never my drug of choice, I was too lazy to get it, but the fact that everyone was talking happily about it gave me a lot of triggers that I had to learn how to fight.
This blog post I made during my early days of recovery is basically what got me through:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...alking-me.html
I already knew that my problem was addiction to the escape, and not to the drug itself, so I knew full well the danger of trying anything. I knew that if I started down that path, it would take me to places I shouldn't and couldn't be. I was worried that next time I wouldn't make it back, and that I would lose everything I had worked so hard to earn over the past 9 years - and then some.
There will always be a trigger, and there will always be that monster lurking within me to try to rationalise substance use. But for me, use becomes abuse. Instead, I focus on learning to deal with the triggers - new ones can come along no matter how solid you are in sobriety. But winning the fight against each one gives me that much more strength and ammunition to keep going.
I'm glad I am still here, still sober, and I look forward to checking in on my 10th anniversary next year.
Happy anniversary to me!