Originally Posted by
honeypig 
FireSprite, I related to your post about how you were doing just enough self care to keep the cup from becoming completely empty but not enough to actually fill it back up. I have been doing kind of the same and look forward to tipping the balance towards the positive side in the weeks to come.
Trailmix called it "treading" & I think it's a perfect term because that describes how it feels pretty well. It's ok for a short time but it isn't any more sustainable than living in an active crisis.
I did a lot of that sitting quietly/reading thing over my vacation & had to make an agreement with myself to slow down & process. To not be hard on myself for being "unproductive" or whatever negative thought I might've infected myself with given the opportunity.
A few times my husband came home to find me just sitting in silence because that too had become scarce in my day-to-day life - I was starting to fill all those moments of discomfort with noise & alerts & lights & distractions slowly but surely.
I ended up spending Sunday with my best friend after a morning full of cooking (& eating) comfort foods. She's in a rough spot right now and all I can do is hold her hand & tell her that she can survive whatever happens; that I'll still be right there through the hellfire, cheering her on. Pressure in her situation has been building very slowly over a long, long time & the lid came off about a month ago for what is yet another round of a long-term pattern with her covertly narcissistic husband. The difference this time is that she finally started therapy a few months ago & isn't accepting the gaslighting & BS like she has in the past. She's stronger than before in her self-trust & self-esteem so that is, as you can imagine, NOT going over well with him at ALL.
I hope more of you reading along decide to jump in here & share some positivity going on in your lives, no matter how small you think it
seems. I wholeheartedly believe that this is AS IMPORTANT as anything else that we do in recovery - it can't all be about meetings & focusing on the problems & just like anything else - this is something we need to PRACTICE for it to become habit. If you want to start seeing all the positive in your life - make time to notice & acknowledge it & it WILL continue to show up. It's impossible for it to go any other way.
