Originally Posted by
mcconnth2017 
I have been in AA for almost 8 months. The people I have encountered have been very warm and accepting. I have not had a drink in 224 days and am working through the steps, although I am having a difficult time.
Congratulations on your 224 days of sobriety!
I am keeping an open mind, but I am an agnostic at best.
You can be agnostic in AA. If the God stuff bothers you, call it something else like "higher self", "the universe", etc.
I knew going into the program that it was anti-intellectual in nature. Ie. Just follow the path and you "could" be ok. I get some comments or odd looks, from die hards, when I mention my concerns in sharing. No, I don't call AA anti-intellectual at meetings.
What they mean by anti-intellectual is that you could have a PhD in addiction, read every single book out there about addiction, be as intellectual as Albert Einstein, but still not recover. It's a spiritual program. That's all they mean. Intellectualizing recovery doesn't work.
They are starting an agnostic and atheist meeting shortly near my location, which I am certainly going to try.
That sounds interesting. Where can someone find these types of meetings listed?
The powerlessness and giving up free will are just a couple of things that seem counter intuitive to me.
I completely get what you're saying. These bothered me, too. But the longer I've been in recovery, I think what it means is that we cannot use our minds/ego to not drink. But we have a power within us that is a higher power than the mind/ego that we can use to not drink. Some call is God. You can choose to call it whatever you want. Some people call it the lower self vs. the higher self.
It's not that you're giving up free will. It's that you chose to do the best thing for you and others, that won't harm yourself or harm others. But it's still ultimately your choice.
However, as I read more books on recovery, I get more confused, which leads me further away from AA principles. I don't mean to bash AA, I am just sharing where I am at in recovery. Then the AA voice hits "Keep it simple stupid"
I found that reading books on recovery made me very confused, too, because many say different things.
The meetings are beginning to become boring and a little depressing.
Meetings can sometimes feel boring and repetitive because recovered folk need to reach the newcomer who just walked through the door.
However, I made a commitment to sobriety and I am going to work the steps and then reassess. Yes, I realize the step aren't to be done in a weekend.
Just like it took years to put on weight, we won't be able to sustain long term weight loss if we lose weight in a weekend. It took a life time of our thinking, behaviors, and reaction to life to get to a place of enough is enough, time to change. We need much more than a weekend to do it.
Enjoy the journey of growth, however you seek it.