honeypig

Let me change that last part for you: There has been no violence, no financial hardship YET. B/c things are at a certain level NOW doesn't mean that's where they'll stay. Someone on this forum is constantly reminding us that alcoholism is a progressive disease. It WILL get worse unless the A seeks help.

All it would take, at least here in the States, to get into that "financial hardship" would be a car accident while the A was drunk, where someone was killed or crippled. Kiss life as you knew it goodbye...and it's not like you get a memo a month ahead of time telling you that NOW things are going to get serious, so you better take action to protect yourself.

Frankly, I think it's insane for that counselor to tell you that just b/c so many others have it worse, you should settle for what you have. A huge number of people in this world don't have running water or indoor plumbing, but that doesn't mean I won't call a plumber if mine stops working!

If a man came up to me today and said "hey, let's get married--I promise not to hit you, to be nice to you sometimes, when it suits me, and to go to work every day", would I start looking for a place to hold the reception? Would I think "yeah, THIS is what I want from a marriage, from the closest relationship I will ever have"? NO POSSIBLE WAY!

But yet that's what goes through our minds when we think about the relationship that we're ALREADY in. "Oh, he doesn't hit me, and he's nice sometimes, and he goes to work daily. That's really good enough for me." W T F. Is it b/c we don't want to have "wasted" the time we've already invested in the relationship, and so we decide to waste the REST of our lives?

Yeah, I know it's an individual choice. That doesn't mean I don't feel sick to my stomach when I see someone decide that he/she isn't worth more than that.

Please remember that you CAN change your mind (and how I hope that you do...).